The Hills Have Eyes

I was so inspired by MTV's The Hills.  Sadly, Justin Bobby was an early fashion icon from my television set in Minnesota.  I have always had an affinity for biker jackets, vintage Harley Davidson T-shirts, and yes, boots at the beach.  I was so excited to move to LA and the land of opportunity... Which undoubtably meant helping Whitney walk down stairs without falling, pointing Lauren in the waterproof mascara aisle, and helping Audrina's ceiling eyes focus on "straight forward".  Unfortunately none of these things happened...  -And I think my void in their lives caused much worse repercussions! 

Heidi left Lauren.  Spencer went crazy.  Les Deux closed down.  ...-And inevitable the Hills stopped production (with the worst series finale since Full House).  I can't help but feel responsible for this tragic ending!  If only I spread my wisdom to these Hills ladies, they may still be working and relevent!  In attempts to help you less fortunate folks from committing self-sabotage suicide, I will be answering your questions.

In the most selfless way of dispersing my priceless knowledge (and turning your misfortunate lives into a juicy blog post, that will surely lead to more traffic, and therefor more sponsorships [for me])... So send those questions my way to: contact@METROsektual.com.  Let the light of my life help guild your way!