Age is such a scary thing. I vaguely remember being an ugly little alien baby (with a big-ass head and beady eyes) and crying whenever I saw old people in the grocery store -and screaming "I don't want to get old." [Kids are the actual spawn of Satan] Not much has changed on that front, but it's less socially acceptable to cry and scream at my [now] peers...
But getting old sucks. When I was younger (legal drinking age ofcourse 😅...) I could get blackout-drunk, fall down a flight of stairs, sleep for a couple hours, wake up bright eyed and bushy-tailed (at the butt-crack of dawn) and workout. I really knew how to put the "FUN" in functioning alcoholic (Relax-I was just being social). -Now I drink one White Claw and it takes me 3 whole days to recover and 2 more to feel somewhat normal.
Obviously my liver peaced-out in my late 20's, but when did my body decide to give up hope!? I’ve been trying these HIIT workouts (Chloe Ting); and I'm unsure if I can’t move my body because I had a great workout or I’m old and did all the crazy moves wrong and pulled every muscle in my body. -I’ll circle back when I regain feeling in my legs.
But besides the demise of my debilitated body, I have always been super conscious about my age. When I modeled, age was always in the back of my head as the silent killer, and just living in LA you are constantly reminded of how out-of-touch and irrelevant you are. I have thick skin, and a good head on my shoulder (with a touch of crazy) so I just do my best, and not dwell on things I can't change... but recently, after getting “age shamed” by not 1 but 2 former friends (“former” being the operative word), it opened my eyes of all the things I will NEVER be able to do again (because I’m SO old)
**Trigger Warning- This is a joke. I could care less what these 2 selfish, delusional humans think, feel or say about me. Obviously they are both very unhappy with their lives (which if I were them I would be unhappy too) and they decided to take their {white-privileged] problems out on an easy target… [me]. Should I tag them?! LOL
With that being said...
I'll never be able to:
Win a spelling bee
Be a child prodigy
Be a flower girl
Be an altar boy (JK in the Catholic church I consider it a blessing)
Illegally buy alcohol
Be a boy scout
Be a gymnast (those shits start in the womb)
Commit a crime and be a minor
Have a quinceanera
Be too young to know better
Win homecoming king (I got robbed... Fuck the election- the world needs my HS cornation re-counted)
Go to cotillion
Live without crippling stress and anxiety
Go to a 98 Degrees concert
Have a working metabolism
Become famous on TikTok
Be care-free
Sit on Santa's lap
Step foot into PacSun
[My hopes and dreams falling like the tears in my eyes 😂]
-But you know what I can do at this age, be intelligent enough to cut out toxic relationships. Age is nothing but a number. So you go to Brandy Melville, you drink those colorful (sugary) cocktails, learn those TikTok dances and embarrass yourself like you deserve. Just remember it speaks more of the person's character talking shit, than it does of the ones they are speaking about.
Here are some pics of my latest [youthful] adventures…👶
Brett Dreissig