Haters Will Say It's Photoshop

...My friends will probably say it's Photoshop too.  I have the worst friends in North America.  They constantly persuade me to partake in happy-hour.  My phone blows up for Sunday Fundays.  While shopping, they are always there telling me how great everything looks [on me], and therefor have to purchase.  -And they are all so sweet, I look like the evil spawn of satin with my sour disposition [in comparison]!  Ironically, my friends never get hungover, they have savings accounts, and are in relationships...so somewhere along the line, I am getting the short end of the stick.  Meanwhile, I am over here at "World Famous" Canter's Bakery mowing down on complex carbohydrates.  -Forever in a committed relationship with my muffin-top.