In school I never read any of the suggested reading material in English class. I got the cliffs notes. Who has time to read all those irrelevant books when you are busy being popular?
With Halloween coming up, I thought I would share a few “tricks” of the trade. Here is a “treat” of some of my life hacks!
1. Don't tell your Lyft driver he looks like Rob Kardashian (even if they look identical). Apparently they get very angry and offended, and won't take you to your end destination.
2. When you are at the gym, wear headphones. If you don't, I'll just assume you are a serial killer. Do you enjoy listening to people heavily breathing, Mr. Dahmer?
3. Never tell anyone they look tired. It's basically telling them they look like shit. If you open up that discussion forum, don't be surprised when someone (me) tells you everything they don't like about you. [There's a lot]
4. Never talk about money or your diet. Really, nobody cares.
5. Fake it til you make it. If you are self-conscious, appear confident. When you are insecure I guarantee you will attract a lot of shitty people that will feed off that, and in return make you feel more insecure.
6. Avoid sugary alcoholic drinks. Having learned the hard way, the better the drink tastes, the worse the hangover.
7. Wear sunscreen. Moisturize. And don't forget eye cream. You won't appreciate youthful skin until you look in the mirror and see a raisin staring back at you.
8. You are never as fat as you think you are. In 6 months you will look at that (fat) picture of yourself and think how skinny you were then, compared to the potato you are now.
9. Guys, don't pluck your eyebrows. It never looks good.
10. Girls, don't wear low rise jeans. If 2003 skeletor Paris Hilton looked like she had a muffin top in them, I guarantee low rise denim will not do any favors for you.
11. Live a little. Actually live a lot. You will never look back and think I shouldn't have gone on that vacation, or I shouldn't have bought those shoes. I promise you will regret if you don't do those things.
12. Be good to yourself. Looks, money, people and feelings will come and go... But you will always be stuck with yourself.
