I should have trusted my trust issues.
I have been on my own for so long, and in doing so have naturally kept myself guarded. Being alone in a big city at a young age, I was always extremely cautious with the company I surround myself with [in hopes to protect myself]. I like to think that I have an innate instinct when it comes to people I meet and open up to. I went through a phase of trusting people I shouldn't and saw that got me no where, but hurt. It's hard when you see red flags go up, but you want to give people the benefit of the doubt. -Just to realize not everyone is worthy of that treatment. When you go against your gut, just to find out later you were right from the start, opens up a lot of internal battles for me. You can't always get to the end goal alone, but you also can't get there on a really shitty team. It's hard not to feel jaded and just keep to yourself, but there is a bad stigma attached to being a shut-in.
In hopes of shedding some light on this rambling, I think sometimes you have to characterize people by their actions, so you will never be fooled by their words. -And if you are a bottom feeder leaching on to "nice people" for your sick game... Fuck you! I am a nice person...until I'm not nice anymore.
