Time is going by way too fast! I have no concept of time. I feel like I graduated from high school a couple years ago... when in fact it was over a decade ago (well over a decade).
In my mind I feel like I am forever 23. But every morning when I look in the mirror, I bear a strong resemblance to Kellyanne Conway. I knew I was getting old when that saying “trends always come back in style” …happened! The same Adidas pants and Champion sweatshirts I wore in elementary school are now on these “cool” millennial curb-squirrels who have no idea who Savage Garden even is. I am doing whatever I can to hold on to my youth without looking like Joe Simpson (if you haven’t seen Jessica Simpson's father lately... your welcome).
But where did the time go? I had (what felt like) 35 seconds between my awkward buck teeth/acne phase to the demise of my metabolism/collagen phase... And I wasted that time… well probably wasted.
At this stage in my life I feel like it's putting Humpty Dumpty back together again. The only thing larger than my appetite are my pores and the long list of things I am too old to participate in. I will no longer be able to entertain this male crop top trend, go to a Taylor Swift concert without looking like a pedophile, or audition for American Idol. A true tragedy! Through this heartbreak I was lucky enough to live through some pretty historic events that kids these days will never understand; Ed Hardy, Lindsay Lohan's career, and most importantly the beauty of frosted tips. In remembrance of my luscious icy locks... here's a picture of me in the snow, and my golden locks.
