I want to give a shoutout to the influencers out there. You all get a bad rap. People think you are annoying, and basic, and ridiculous... and I would know, because I am the one saying all those things.
But what people don't see is your god given artistic ability. You are a painter for being able to cake that face full of make up. You are a sculptor for being able to Facetune your potato head into a jawline. And you are an illusionist for being able to trick hundreds of thousands of people to believe that you look like a Pixar character with bright blue eyes, a 12 inch waist, and a Juvenile music video booty. Well played. I honestly appreciate your dedication and will [still] always wonder how you stretch your 5'3" body to look like a 6 foot tall giant without skewing your landscapes. That takes a lot of time and energy and I commend your hustle.
However, what annoys me is the need for all these "taste-makers" to have a voice. Some people should just shut up. There is this new fad that everyone feels the need to talk about everything (you know those people who have a 27-slide Instagram story of them talking about kale). I'd just like to make a PSA that: Nobody cares how you wash your face in the morning (with a pretty filter hiding your adult acne and rosacea). Nobody wants to watch your K-Mart content haul (with a fucking bunny filter on your head). And nobody wants to watch you uncomfortably push shitty products we all know you don't use (so that you can get a 25 dollar Visa Gift Card).
I keep it real and authentic. If I don't like something I was sent, I will not post it. That simple. It's gotten me in a lot of trouble, but I don't lose any sleep at night. I also follow people who's opinion, or aesthetic, or vibe is something that I resonate with... and in doing so "trust" their critiques. When bullshit is plugging bullshit...well I call "bullshit".
Funny story, so there is this self-proclaimed instagram "blogger" (who doesn't have a blog LOL) that is so incredible cringe-worthy that I can't help but stalk his page at least once a week. He is one of those who will sign off on any product to make a peso. The other week he was pushing Preparation H wipes. I mean A. trash B. Debbie desperate but C. he was commenting back to all the comments telling everyone he didn't have a hemorrhoid problem but a lot of his friends did.
[Pause while I LOL again]-- I was nearly in tears laughing while on his page.
LIKE WHAT? So many questions! How does he know this?! ...And also [I’m] so invested to know more intel on this "friend" group... Is he out at a bar and "Lumpy #1" says: "I'll have a glass of wine... speaking of wine, I'm a hyper-wiper and my hemorrhoids are as large as grapes. If I sit down hard enough I could make my own wine"? Is this what's happening? I feel close to a friend when I know their birthday, not know about their swollen veins in their rectum. But it occurred to me: this was a cover-up. Said "influencer" has no friends, it's he who is bending over for any paid sponsorship, so it was he who needs those Preparation H Wipes. It's a sad, sad world.
Side note: If you ever see me at 7-Eleven with a bottle of Preparation H, I will carry it in my hand proudly like a fuckin' Chanel clutch because that is the best beauty secret I ever received to reduce the puffiness under your eyes. Just own your shit. Literally.
