M E T R O sektual

I can't believe summer is coming to an end and I got really burnt...out.

Instead of complaining about my "privileged" life... actually can we pause on that, I have opinions. My life sucks a lot of the time. Do I have it better than most, possibly. Do I have it worse than most, probably. Saying someone can't be sad because someone has it worse, is like saying you can't be happy because someone is happier. Generally speaking, association solely based on race, age, gender etc. to me is discrimination. Will I ever know how it feels to be you in certain situations, no. Will you know how it feels to be me in certain situations, no. We've probably both been through some shit and I am not about to have a grief-off with anyone, but I also don't want to wear a bow of privilege when I'm "going-through-it". Fuck that probably sounded very republican and very tone-def, but I can assure you it's not. I just feel like if we all want equality, we should treat people equally (without a generalized label on it).

I think something everyone can bond over is burn out. Being depressed over the state of the US is a full-time job. Then I'm serving time in the military with the war in my mind. A full-time day job. Another full time “any-free-moment-I-have” job. And most importantly a glorified hand-maid to the queen, or father to Sophie. As tired, depressed, anxious as I was upon opening my eyes this morning, I went for a run, because sometimes that helps. While on my run, my headphones alerted me 9 times for emails, 4 times for texts, and 3 times for phone calls. -Not good for my mental health. So you are probably asking why not turn the notifications off during your run... Well smart-ass, in today's society there is no structure... "Back in the day" when people worked a 9-5, you wouldn't just go for an hour run at 11am, because you were at work (you run before work, or after work)...When there is no specific time schedule, and you are dealing with other people on that same non-schedule schedule, from different time zones...you are never really off the clock and always working. So NO I can't just turn my phone off.

There is nothing more I love to do than shit on influencers, so cringe, etc. etc. but at the end of the day it helps keep the lights on for me... and I don't know if I'm just so full of knowledge that I made up this metaphor...or if I heard it from somewhere (I think it was me because I have been craving carbs a lot recently) -regardless it puts things into perspective:

"A bakery... If you work at a bakery, your job is to sell bread. For "creators" you own the bakery, you work at the bakery, you make the bread, and you are the bread" -Maybe Me?

It's exhausting... all the time and energy -just to post and be ridiculed and criticized online LOL.

Well this got dark. I'll end this with my current list of ANXIETY TRIGGERS:

-Jojo Siwa

-People with frantic energy

-Tech issues

-The customer service reps at Wells Fargo (less specifically all phone customer service representatives/robots)

-The vet

-Phone calls (can we normalize texting before calling)

-Knocks on my door - if I wasn't expecting you, you are not welcome

-Groups of teenage girls (3 or more)

-When CVS sells out of Ice Breakers fruit mints (obvi the green ones)

-The words "Influencer" "Algorithm" "Content" or "Trump"