I spend too much time on social media and have come to the conclusion that everyone is so fucking annoying… I’m self-aware enough to include myself in this assessment. It’s time for me to vent. As always, don’t come for me if you have fallen victim to some of these grievances (I have too)… It’s a curse seeing everything so clearly. Jesus hung on the cross for the people (I am actually not sure about this, -need to fact check) so now I am doing the Lord’s work by relaying my wealth of knowledge for the better of the people. You're welcome. Amen.
I don’t know who needs to hear this… but nobody, not even a single person asked for your Shein/BoohooMan […] styling tutorial reels. -No one. It does not look good. I’ve had costumes from Spirit Halloween that were better quality.
Ladies…. the flamingo legs?! I personally feel like all y’all should be cancelled for this. To me it appears as if you are mocking amputees, and it is not funny. -And those Steve Madden shoes you are so desperately trying to show off in “said pose” are also really fugly, like your face you are hiding with your hair.
If you are telling the internet that you got botox for “grinding my teeth” or “headaches” -you are only lying to yourself. I’ve been eyeing that deep creased forehead and “11” lines for years… you can’t tell me that getting botox on your 5-head is helping your grinding. You are a liar. If you are embarrassed of ashamed don’t post your botox trip in general, but posting a living post, reel and TikTok about it helping your teeth when you obviously got it for cosmetic reasons is just so pathetic.
I’ve said this once and I’ll say it again. Nobody wants to watch you workout. Your instagram is showing me that you workout, but your body is painting a whole ‘nother story. So maybe less time filming and more time learning how to workout properly.
Men’s “Fashion Bloggers” are trash. They are all clones of each other. The WAY too tight skinny jeans, the horrific low-budget fast fashion graphic tees, the DH Gate Dior sneakers. We are all taking notes… and it’s what I DON’T want to look like.
The pushing of products. I don’t want to be sold anything from anyone! -I know this conundrum well. -To be transparent…If I am “pushing” something on social media, it’s because a brand is paying me at least a month's rent for that ONE post (it will also have #ad). More than one post-NO. Post for trade-NO. Promo codes-NO. I see so many despi people bleeding my feed trying to sell these bottom-of-the-barrel items daily (you don’t marry everyone you date, and you don’t have to participate in every collaboration that comes your way…. nobody likes a thirsty bitch). Furthermore I see “micro” influencers pretending they are working on brand deals when I know @hailey0827369027 with 500 followers isn’t getting paid by Skims to push the product, but is doing so to try and look like an influencer… which makes me throw up in my mouth a little. So desperate to be relevant. -Meanwhile I am waiting for cancel culture to envelop me, cause I’m tired.
Instagram is made to make people jealous. Facebook is made to vent about your shitty life. TikTok is made to show that you have a personality. Pinterest is made for unemployed privileged white girls. LinkedIn is made for employment. Twitter was made for sex workers and Republicans. POST ACCORDINGLY… Example: Don’t vent your radical Trump bullshit on IG, go to Twitter with like-minded racists. If I went to High School with you, don’t sell your pyramid scheme on Facebook… post on LinkedIn. -You don’t poop in port-a potties, and you don’t post to the wrong social platforms. I thought this was common sense but like everything else common sense isn’t so common these days.
Unless you are Hailey Beiber NOBODY cares about your skincare regimen.
I’m going to start unfollowing people who use “As It Was” as their Reel music. I love Harry, but c’mon people every time I scroll it’s that same song to some stupid ass video of you putting your matcha latte on your head being quirky. You look like a fool. There are thousands of songs you can choose, and you are choosing to be a follower… You can steal their sauce but it won’t taste the same. -And you have no taste.
Piggy-backing on number 9. Being inspired by someone is flattering (styling your outfit a different way because you liked the way it looked on someone else). But completely copying my photos; pose, location, similar clothing (not similar because yours is Shein) and completely knocking-off my whole photo is blood boiling. Don’t think I didn’t notice… I’m going to start calling you out with posted time stamps. -You’ve been warned.
The overall tone-deafness. There are thousands of people (racists) getting heated online over the actress selection in the Little Mermaid… When Roe v. Wade is overturned, we are in financial crisis, the world is melting, a war is happening, Texas and Florida fast on their way to becoming 1940’s Germany, and they just shipped a bunch of immigrants to Martha’s Vineyard???? Close your screens and look at the major dumpster fire that is happening around us. If you (are racist and) want to see a white, ginger Ariel… then watch the old movie… you stupid fucks and get out of the comments.
Social media is supposed to be a fun and creative space. If you aren’t fun or creative maybe drink yourself a personality LOL JK -But honestly then just watch from afar and stay out of my lane. The oversaturated Princess Polly hauls, the same TikTok dances that are a month old, the pushing your Herbalife pills, the pure desperation for followers is really ruining the platforms for everyone.
Have a great day to everyone except those people who don’t like my posts, but save them and do a real watered-down, low budget version of them and they call themselves creators. Glad to know I am influencing a few of you. Now go away.
My summer in selfies:
